Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This baby is an asshole
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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