Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.