just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?