office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.