Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize