Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize