I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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