I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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