Having a random hookup so left but love u
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
