She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's always time for handjobs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize