I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
