I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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