i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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