But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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