from now on my penis is your penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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