You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.