Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
