Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly