Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave