idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
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vagina is talking i cant
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots