Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.