Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.