I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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