That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize