Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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