I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize