You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
