I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
