i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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