Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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