i just had sex bonerless
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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