Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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