dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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