he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?