I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals