im drinking this country out of the recession.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.