Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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