i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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