i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
