yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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