Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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