Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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