Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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