Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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