When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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