This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize