bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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