What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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