im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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