Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
