why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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