Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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