i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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