How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
