made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize