I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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