i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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