i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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