They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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