you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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